Does He Know Me?

Such is the title of my devotional today. I typically read from the Oswald Chambers website: www.utmost.org  Wow.....Does God know me?

I do believe that He does. His Word tells me that He formed me in my mother's womb and that He knows every hair on my head. I know this to be true. How? Because I have experienced Him: His presence, His voice, His hand. And not just once. Repeatedly. Consistently. For decades.

As a child, I was taught to have a reverence for God. And in my child-like way, I loved Him and believed in Him. I grew up in a unique home. My father was Lutheran. My mother was Catholic and that is how we were being raised. Church on Sunday, CCD on Monday after school. Grace at meals, a quick memorized prayer at night. Yet somewhere in there, was fostered a yearning for more.

God knew me; but did I know Him?

No. Not until I was 26 years old. It was May 16, 1982 and I will never forget the day. Let's back up a little. Exactly one year prior to that date I had married a man who I loved, believed loved me, but one in whom my parents  saw only trouble. -I thought I knew more than my parents, so I married him despite their warnings. Ths action created a rift that took awhile to heal. What is important is that after that day, my parents found a saving grace and faith in Christ. Through the year, we were able to reconcile. I saw that there had been a change in them, but was reticent and doubtful. Yet, I watched and slowly grew closer to my parents.

And then it was May 16, the first anniversary of my wedding. I was six months pregnant with our first child and we were leaving that evening to join my parents-in-law on a trip to observe my husband's sister graduate from college. The plan was for me to join my husband after his day in court. He was a lawyer, had been accused of something but had assured me that it was nothing and that he would easily and quickly be exonerated. I believed him. And waited for him to meet me at my parents' home. He did not appear. One of my brothers had been in that courtroom that day. He saw what happened. My husband had pled guilty and was sentenced. He would not be coming home that night... or the next night. In fact, he was not coming home for several months.

Talk about unprepared.... there was I: six months pregnant, livng far away from my family and now left alone because my husband was incarcerated far from our home. Oh my..... what to do??? And why me? I didn't do anything wrong. Did I???? (Stubbornness, disobedience and pride immediately come to my mind now.)

And then there were my parents. I was expecting "We told you so", but it did not come. Instead, they invited old family friends to the house. There were a couple of whom I was very fond. The husband began to speak of God and His plans. I remember challenging them and demanding them to show me where in the Word it says God knows me, that He loves me and has a plan for me. He began at John 3.16: "for God so loved the world that He gave His only Son..." The bottom line: On May 16, 1982, I asked Jesus Christ to be Lord of my life. And He is. I have never looked back and He has never failed me. Through joys and trials He has been my best friend.

"Do I have a personal history with Jesus Christ? The one true sign of discipleship is intimate oneness with Him— a knowledge of Jesus that nothing can shake." -utmost.org