There's a scripture in the New Testament that states how Mary, the mother of Christ, watched Jesus as he grew noting his words and his ways and it says that she held these things in her heart. I perceive this to mean that she contemplated them, knowing the purpose of his life but not fully comprehending all that it would entail. She observed events and remembered them to watch as Jesus' life story unfolded to bring understanding. Many times, we do this in our own lives. We observe someone or something, don't fully understand it, but hold onto it so that it brings greater meaning at a later time.
A few weeks ago, I was driving to my work, about 50 miles away. I typically travel a major highway, the speeds of vehicles around me average about 80 mph. It can be harrowing to navigate among large trailer trucks and small seductive lane-changing cars. In any case, as I was driving, I noticed one of these vehicles narrowly miss hitting me. I perceived God speaking to me at that point, reminding me that He holds me in the palm of His hand, and that there is nothing I will endure that He won't be alongside me. Grateful, I pondered what this might mean. After all, I was merely driving my regular commute! So, I 'held' the words in my heart. The following day, I awoke to a throbbing lower abdominal pain, like a cramping. Having grown up in a 'just do it' home, I went about my daily business, commuting an hour each way and putting in my regular work day. By afternoon, the pain intensified and I was literally doubled-over. I called my (oncologist) physician and friend and she prescribed diagnostics to include blood work and a CT scan with IV contrast dye, scheduled for 2 days later. The next day I rested as the pain continued to be intense. I remembered the words from earlier in the week "You are in the palm of my hand; I will be by your side every step of the way." and I knew not to be afraid; I could trust that there was a plan!
But what was it? After the CT scan, I received a telephone call that the tests revealed a case of diverticulitis (easy enough to deal with) and an incidental finding of a splenic artery aneurysm. What?! Are you kidding?! Why me? -I don't even meet the risk factors!! -Not pregnant (nope, not even close), no high blood pressure, not a smoker.
And then the realization hit me... what a blessing to discern this 18mm problem as an incidental finding rather than as a rupture which could be a life-threatening incident. So yes, there has a been a trip or two to my primary care physician to deal with the diverticulitis (thank you for antibiotics) and to the vascular surgeon and interventional radiologist to plan for my upcoming stent/coil procedure.
God holds me in the palm of His hand!!! -And I am at peace!
Now, if everything happens for a reason, stay tuned to read the related stories.
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